I'm not quite sure how to describe how I'm feeling these days. Depressed isn't the word. I'm generally happy, and realize I'm lucky to have the things I have, a new house, some great friends, and a wonderful family. But I think as my 35th birthday gets closer it really hits me that not only am I not married, I haven't ever really been in a relationship. That just sucks. Right now, the prospects aren't good. I tried checking out a singles ward, but although it seems like a fantastic ward, it's a little old for me. I just don't think I want to hope to date someone that might have served in Vietnam with my dad.
So, I'm going to check a mid-singles ward in Sacramento. Supposedly it's pretty big. That's what she said (dang Office quotes going through my head). I hope so. I decided to move in part to hopefully help jump start my social life. But I've found making single friends to be quite difficult when you don't have a YSA ward to meet them in. That's also part of my funk. I in general don't have a lot of friends calling me wanting to hang out. It's led to a feeling of nobody wanting me around. It's difficult when a lot of my friends are twenty miles away for them to just call and want to hang out. That's part of the reason I moved to Fairfield, to be in more of the area where people my age might be. In Vallejo, all my friends were either in Benicia or Napa (places I couldn't afford), and back when I went to Institute, in Fairfield. So now I'm here, but too old to go to the YSA ward (well, I could go, but as I get more and more 18 year old friends, I realize how that's not really helping me to grow).
I'm kind of embarassed to put this on my blog. Especially because I have really good friends who read this. I hate that sometimes I feel like such a loser. Right now I feel like I live in exile from my family and my friends. As much as I'd love living closer to my family, I just know that if I did, I'd only hang out with my family and wouldn't meet anyone else other than friends of theirs.
I hope this doesn't come across as whining, and I hope this doesn't make anyone worried about me. Like I said, it's not really so much a depression, although I am worried about getting out of this funk before it becomes one. So, although I'm somewhat embarassed to put this up, I'm curious of what my friends think. Maybe I'm just fishing for compliments (I wouldn't mind :). As my post below mentions, I'm also somewhat worried about my job. I might very quickly delete this post, but for now, I'll do it.
So, what would you do if you found yourself in my funk? I appreciate your help. Oh, and have a Happy Halloween!
Friday, October 30, 2009
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9 comments:
Oh, and I'm sure someone might mention signing up for one of the LDS singles sites. I've done a quick search of people around the area, but haven't found a whole lot of options there. Maybe I'm just looking at the wrong site?
I have no idea what the right way to find a social life is. Seems like what works one time doesn't the next. Hope you figure it all out.
Kirsten,
First of all, you are an amazing woman!!! You are so fun to be around and have a beautiful spirit about you at all times. Now as far as your funk, I think you are doing all the right things. My sister-in-law met her husband of 8 years on ldssingles, but Dale's younger brother has looked and looked on there and there are not a lot of "active" lds people that aren't 18 or 50. kwim. I think searching out more options is all you can do. It's not a promise to get out of the funk quickly, but in the meantime, you'll be meeting new people and who knows, one of those people might lead you to another, etc.,etc. It's definitely hard moving to a new area, but as you put in your post, it is a bit helpful in forcing you to hang out with new people. Of course it doesn't mean you need to "change" your friends, but if you are looking for a relationship, then your friends will understand if you see less of them. I hope that your SA ward in Sacramento will offer lots of opportunities for you. I love you and if you do ever want to swing by, believe me, I'd love to have you over. Take care and keep doing what you're doing and trust in the Lord that every thing will come at it's appropriate time. Love ya!!
Ditto on what Shannon said. You know you have lots of people who love you and think you are wonderful, me included! Funks happen, though. Hang in there and anytime you want to hang with your "old" friends in Am Cyn, come on over. The BYU season isn't over yet! xox
Kirsten~
You rock, and I think you are REALLY cool! I hope that you find what you are looking for. I'm sure it must be really hard. I just wanted to let you know that you are wonderful, amazing, funny, fun to be around, and the fact that you like Disneyland even makes you cooler.
Kelly
Hey Kirsten! Did you see the CES fireside tonight with Pres. Uchtdorf? I was thinking of you and thought he must have been an answer to your prayers. What did you think?
Thanks everyone! I had a great weekend that helped pick up my spirits. Shawn, I meant so set my DVR to record it, but forgot. Luckily in this day and age, I'll be able to download it sometime this week. I look forward to it! Pres. Uchtdorf is one of my favorites! Thank you all for the kind remarks. It's good to know I have many friends I can turn to.
At a Halloween dance I met a friend of mine that now lives in Sacramento and he said there weren't any midsingles wards, just midsingle activities. I was really hoping for a ward, but I'll just have to go to these activities. Oh well, the beehive advisor in my ward just got called to Primary, so maybe I'll finally get a calling soon.
hoping things look up real soon. You deserve so much happiness in this life, you are a wonderful person and a blessed spirit. You always make me feel good. I'm sad that there is not mid-single ward for you. I don't know much about online. Things'll look up. You are in my prayers often and always. I love you so very much.
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