What's the word to describe how I'm feeling?

I'm not quite sure how to describe how I'm feeling these days. Depressed isn't the word. I'm generally happy, and realize I'm lucky to have the things I have, a new house, some great friends, and a wonderful family. But I think as my 35th birthday gets closer it really hits me that not only am I not married, I haven't ever really been in a relationship. That just sucks. Right now, the prospects aren't good. I tried checking out a singles ward, but although it seems like a fantastic ward, it's a little old for me. I just don't think I want to hope to date someone that might have served in Vietnam with my dad.

So, I'm going to check a mid-singles ward in Sacramento. Supposedly it's pretty big. That's what she said (dang Office quotes going through my head). I hope so. I decided to move in part to hopefully help jump start my social life. But I've found making single friends to be quite difficult when you don't have a YSA ward to meet them in. That's also part of my funk. I in general don't have a lot of friends calling me wanting to hang out. It's led to a feeling of nobody wanting me around. It's difficult when a lot of my friends are twenty miles away for them to just call and want to hang out. That's part of the reason I moved to Fairfield, to be in more of the area where people my age might be. In Vallejo, all my friends were either in Benicia or Napa (places I couldn't afford), and back when I went to Institute, in Fairfield. So now I'm here, but too old to go to the YSA ward (well, I could go, but as I get more and more 18 year old friends, I realize how that's not really helping me to grow).

I'm kind of embarassed to put this on my blog. Especially because I have really good friends who read this. I hate that sometimes I feel like such a loser. Right now I feel like I live in exile from my family and my friends. As much as I'd love living closer to my family, I just know that if I did, I'd only hang out with my family and wouldn't meet anyone else other than friends of theirs.

I hope this doesn't come across as whining, and I hope this doesn't make anyone worried about me. Like I said, it's not really so much a depression, although I am worried about getting out of this funk before it becomes one. So, although I'm somewhat embarassed to put this up, I'm curious of what my friends think. Maybe I'm just fishing for compliments (I wouldn't mind :). As my post below mentions, I'm also somewhat worried about my job. I might very quickly delete this post, but for now, I'll do it.

So, what would you do if you found yourself in my funk? I appreciate your help. Oh, and have a Happy Halloween!